Dreams?
I had a very uncomfortable dream.. I don't know where it was; not in Egypt and not in Sweden, but something more exotic. Thailand perhaps? Anyway.. I was ofcourse madly in love with M, and we had a great time. But things changed and another girl showed up. She was beautiful, but very small, smaller than me! Maybe also younger. This girl starts to play with M's mind. She tells him that I'm not good enough for him, I am just a loser, I did many bad things etc. She tries to convience him to break up with me, but he really don't want to do it. They stand together in one side and I stand on the other side. Ofcourse I am hysterical, have strong anxiety and want to pull M closer to my side. But I can't do anything, I can't even cry or scream. I am more worried about M than about myself, because I can see in his eyes how sad he is. He really didn't want to listen to this girl, he really didn't want to leave me. Next second, the girl throws to me a very long list, I don't remember what's on this list - maybe things that I did wrong. I don't remember how the dream ended, maybe M chose her and maybe he set himself free from this sneaky biatch and we live happily ever after. I don't know, but it was indeed kind of traumatic haha.
I also believe in subconscious meanings with dreams, so I actually searched on the Internet and everything I found was true.But now when I read my own text again, I start to understand more. I know now who this girl represent in real life! Someone who doesn't want us to be together, and tries their best to make M leave me.
Luckily, they didn't succeed and I'm sure I have nothing to be worried about! ;)
Hurghada 2011, shortly after the operation. Everything felt like a nightmare and I was begging myself to wake up.
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